Uneven pant legs lowers self confidence

Allie Schneider, News Editor

   Dear Jane

    I am disgusted with myself. I am in utter shame and shambles. My problem you most certainly did not ask for is: I cannot cuff my jeans. It’s sad really. I am most irrevocably bisexual; I should understand the procedure of the temporary hem of the denim pants.

   Do I crack terrible jokes and puns? Yes, and my finger guns are a staple. Will I ever be caught dead in anything other than an unreasonable number of layers? Never. I cannot be spotted in class without somehow siting absurdly, yet comfortably, in my chair.

   Despite this, it seems that every morning I look in the mirror and see that my pant legs are uneven. I have tried measuring each side in between every fold. I’ve even tested cuffing my pants before putting them on, all to no avail.

   I see the glances in the halls at my feet, the side eyes of disapproval. It’s just plain embarrassing. Please, Jane, teach me how to cuff my jeans. I desperately need your help.

Sir Frogs.

Dear Sir Frogs,

   While this may seem like this is the end of the world, I believe you could turn this into something good.

   Look on the bright side, and think of this struggle as a chance to start a new bisexual trend. Maybe the uneven roll can be the next best thing. If you wear it with enough confidence it will seem like it was on purpose.

   If you would still like to try your best with cuffed jeans, but find yourself not able to cuff them, try blousing garters. These handy bands are used mainly by the military to keep their pants cuffed. This cuff, though, is slightly different to the normal and will be curled inwards.

   I will end this advice by telling you that you do not need to cuff your jeans to be valid within your sexuality. A trend or stereotype does not define you. With something as broad as the LGBTQ+, pinning each one down to a norm would be a disservice to the years of work done. I hope you are able to take this advice and be proud.