She love Vampire boy


Dear Jane,

   I’m the hottest girl in the school, and all the guys want to date me. And by all the boys, I mean every single one. The nerdy boys want to date me. The jock boys want to date me.

   The problem is, though, I don’t want to date any of them. I have my eye on someone else, the local vampire. Something about his grey skin, dead black hair, and his cloak really allures me.

   Problem is, if I ever talked to him, he would kill me and drink my blood. At this point that doesn’t sound that bad.

     Jane, what should I do??

-Hot Girl Heather

Dear Hot Girl Heather,

   Wow. That was, a lot.

    I think the first thing I should comment on is your confidence. As great as it is to have self confidence, a majority of the time it can border on the line of narcissism, and you, my friend, seem to be on that line.

    I’m sure you are super hot and have a great personality, but do ALL the guys really want to date you? No. My big advice is to humble yourself.

   Not only will that help with your internal happiness, it will also probably shoot up your chances with vampire dude.

   I can’t relate personally with your troubles, but I did watch Twilight and I think this might help.

   Risk it for the biscuit. If you love him as much as you say you do, then it’s worth it. I’m sure he won’t actually kill you and drink your blood, but just to be safe, maybe just have a nice tech relationship. You know, Snapchat and Facetime are very helpful.

   I hope you got something out of this,