Theoretical question: is water wet?

Jane

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Dear Jane, I am appalled at the horrendous lies being spread throughout BHS. To tell the truth, I find these rumors horribly offensive. To say that water is wet should be a crime. I once was a victim to the deceit that traps many, but my eyes have been opened recently. Mr. Vander Linden’s Theory of Moistivity has truly made me believe that water is not, I repeat, NOT, wet. It only makes sense; water makes things wet just like fire burns things, but that doesn’t mean that water is actually wet because fire can’t be burn. That’s just ridiculous. I hope that someday science will recognize this revelation as a law, not just a theory. Until then, I will continue to spread the truth throughout BHS. Sincerely, Water is NOT Wet Wendy Dear Water is NOT Wet Wendy, You disgust me. How can you so easily fall for such lies? What you’re trying to convince me and countless others just isn’t logical. First of all, you credit Mr. Vander Linden for your beliefs, yet he isn’t even a science teacher. Maybe he’s just had too much Mountain Dew lately. Now, let’s discuss the theory directly. If you can’t be wet while completely underwater, then why do your hands get all wrinkly after a while? Also, many animals, like fish, need to be wet to survive. If they spend their whole life underwater, are they dry then? Whatever. This debate is just dumb and has been dragged out for wayyyyy too long. Water IS wet and I won’t be convinced otherwise. Love, Jane

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Theoretical question: is water wet?