Strange skin spot puzzling

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Dear Jane, I think I have a problem. I normally ignore these kinds of things, but necrotizing fasciitis sounds pretty scary to me. WebMD says that it kills fat, which I don’t think sounds all that bad, but I’ve also noticed this big red spot growing on my arm. It kind of itches, but it doesn’t really hurt, although it probably isn’t very attractive to the football boys. My dogs, Wolfgang and Sebastian, don’t seem to like the smell of it, either. Every time they are around they try to bite it, like it’s some kind of burning red chew toy. Anyway, I don’t know what to do about it. WedMD says I should just amputate my arm, and that it would be a good idea to cut off all my other limbs just to be sure the disease doesn’t spread. What do you think? Chopping off all my body parts doesn’t sound too bad, but I might not be a very good cheerleader anymore if I do that. Please help me, Decaying Debbie Dear Decaying Debbie, As a medical professional, I cannot recommend you have necrotizing fasciitis, but I can recommend amputation to cure it. In all my years of experience in the medical field, I have only once encountered this particular disease, and I told the patient to do the same thing (of course, they eventually died anyway, but that’s beside the point). Really, though, do you want to lose your popularity among the football players? Do you want to tarnish your reputation as the school’s best cheerleader? Do you want your dogs to use your arm as a chew toy? I think not, and the only way to prevent these dreadful things from happening is to quickly cut off all your limbs. Of course, there is a small chance that the sore on your arm is just a spider bite, in which case amputation would only do more harm than good, but I suppose it’s too late to question our choices now. And besides, I myself go to WebMD for all my self-diagnosis needs, as well. Anyway, thank you for writing to me while you still can, because I presume that you will have great difficulty writing if you follow my instructions to the letter. I hope you get to feeling better, especially after crippling yourself for life. Cheers, Jane

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Strange skin spot puzzling