Sophomore gives advice for great essays

Abby Crutchfield, Editorial Editor

Today I’m going to teach all the procrastinators out there how to pass your English class. Well, I’m at least going to tell you how to write an essay in a day.

   The first thing you need to do is toss your sleep schedule out the window. You’re going to be up all night finishing this paper.

   Next, make sure you at least know the topic. If it’s a report-type essay, find an article online and skim it before you start typing.

   After you get a general idea of what you’re talking about, write on a piece of notebook paper a quick outline. I know this seems time-consuming, but it’s worth it.

   Next is the actual typing of the essay. You might as well start a pot of coffee before you start writing, ‘cause you’re going to need the caffeine to keep you up. This is definitely the most time-consuming part of the process.

  If you follow your outline, the writing part should be pretty easy. It just might take a while to make your words pretty.

   One of the most important things to do if you’re doing this late at night is to make sure you stay awake. You might think you’re just resting your eyes for a moment, but next thing you know, you’ll wake up and school started 10 minutes ago.

   Some things I recommend to keep you awake include, but are not limited to, any form of energy drink, annoying music you could never fall asleep to, turning all you lights on and shining lamps in your face, or even just a cup of coffee.

   After you’ve had enough caffeine to get you through your essay, you’re going to need to proofread it. DO NOT skip this part. Late-night writing often results in nonsense. If you don’t have the energy to read it, copy and paste it into Google so your laptop will read it out loud to you.

   If you follow these simple (yet quite effective) tips you should be able to get at least a B- on any paper you have. I mean you, could also just manage your time better and write it before the day it’s due, but what’s the fun in that?