Students have odd theories

Seth Jarvis, News Editor

   Have you ever thought there was something a little weird about this school? Has something ever seemed a little unsettling about it? What about the teachers? Have any of them seemed like they are hiding something?

   Well, that’s because they are. This school has a basement.

   I know, I know; that seems absurd. A basement at BHS? There’s no way that can be true!

   However, the truth is that there is indeed a lower level, and there is significant evidence pointing to its existence.

   First, have you ever been by the school late at night? Driving by, one may see cars parked in the parking lot around the building. Why would they be there so late? Well, they’re in the basement.   

   In addition, an anonymous student mentioned some mysterious happenings in this area.

   “I’ve seen people talk about going to the basement; then they just disappear. I know they didn’t graduate.”

   Now you may be asking, where is the entrance? I believe it is in the tech lab.

   That place used to be a courtyard. However, it was removed in the early 1990s. Why was that?

   Well, the basement was probably about to be discovered. So, in order to protect it, they built the tech lab to hide it.

   However, they did not do a good enough job. Some areas of the floor sound hollow. That is because that is where the entrance to the basement is.

   Some will say that is “where ethernet cables are and other items, “ but that is not true. Why? I just know.

   One fact I am uncertain of is the size of the basement. It could be as small and lame as Mr. Clapper’s classroom, or an utterly massive labyrinth that stretches from the track to the middle school. It’s honestly horrifying to think about.

   Now, what is in the basement? I’ve heard many reports, ranging from it being a portal through time and space to simply a room full of spiders. However, an anonymous Sophomore English teacher gave this report on activities that occur in the underworld:

   “I heard they have raves and mosh pits down there. Along with a disco ball. I do not approve.”

   It’s time that we got the truth about this school. I do not want this building to be destroyed by some spider-king that lives deep below.