Newsie builds cult

Jacob Dugar, Editor in Chief

Greetings, friends! It is I, your future leader. No, no, I won’t be running a country this time. This is much more meaningful.

   Have you ever found yourself just coasting through life? Are the motions not fulfilling anymore? What if I told you I had a way to get rid of all the monotony in your sad life?

   Well, I do. All you have to do is join me in my crusade against the material plane. With me acting out the will of Nyarlathotep, The God of a Thousand Forms, we shall not only rule this planet, but our entire plane of existence.

   Now, you’re obviously asking yourself, “How can I possibly join this incredible organization?” Well, it’s quite simple, really.

   All you must do is create rumors about whatever absurdities your feeble mind can comprehend and spread them as far and wide as you can.

   You see, most Outer Gods prefer to just spread carnage. All they desire is petty destruction. Nyarlathotep, on the other hand, is a fan of spreading madness. He is normally the messenger for the Outer Gods, but I believe that I have convinced him to go against their interests.

   In spreading deceit and treachery, you are assisting in the gradual melding of fact and fiction, to the point where nobody will be able to trust anything they hear from any source.

   This will eventually lead to chaos, whether it’s from clashing of ideals, crime, political overreach, nationwide collapse, or any other trivial matters.

   We, however, are stronger than the other members of our species. We know that the only truth in this pitiful existence is what we make of it. When many believe a lie, it becomes a truth.

   Now, how will this allow us complete control of our plane of existence? Well, while the others are fighting amongst themselves, we will be steadily growing our numbers across the globe.

   When the time is right, and every nation is in turmoil, we will strike. We shall crush every nation-state that remains, whether through diplomacy, might, or deceit. We will follow. Nyarlathotep will rule. Through him, we shall purge this universe of its silly sanity.