Will 2020 be worse year?

Seth Jarvis, News Editor

Twenty twenty has been a pretty terrible year so far. So, like the wise people they are, the newspaper group asked, “How could it possible get worse?” Here are some of the ways it can.

   For one, there have been a bunch of strange monoliths appearing in remote locations. While it may seem that they’re just some dumb marketing gimmick, they may not be.

   What if they are meant to summon the Moon Lord, who will launch a great war against humanity? It happens in Terraria; it could happen here as well.

   Another horrible event that could occur is that Santa could spread Covid to his elves. According to Dr. Fauci, he is immune, but he could spread it. This could result in the destruction of Christmas as we know it.

   War between North Korea and the United States is another threat. On his way out, President Trump could tweet, “Bring it on, Big Boy @kimjoun-un” on Twitter and ignite a horrible conflict.

   Cancel Culture could also get worse. Instead of it mainly being instigated by angry teenagers on the internet, it could instead be legitimately sponsored by governments. God help us all.

   On top of that, the moon could turn out to be a giant egg this entire time. An evil primordial being might arise from it and bring darkness upon the world. With the moon gone, the surfers of the world would be incredibly disappointed in the tidal action.

   The Midwest could also secede from the union, igniting the Second American Civil War. At the end, the Empire of the Heartland would form, led by Empress Barbara Bollier.

   Worse than that, Shrek 5 and The Minecraft Movie both might not end up coming out in theaters.

   In addition, this school might attempt to do Hamilton, with myself playing the founding father. Only I might get laryngitis and Mrs. Loucks would have to step in play him instead.

   This is a pretty horrible future. Let’s hope it doesn’t happen.