Apocalypse is looming

Eric Pabon, Entertainment Editor

In today’s day and age, it seems chaos is becoming normal, especially in America.
Considering we’re close to a complete downfall of civilization as we know it, it would make sense to begin planning for a post-apocalyptic world.
In an event that total anarchy were to break out, you may be asking, “How did we get here?”
My first and most plausible theory is that cows become intelligent and develop thumbs. They create a society in secret and begin planning on enslaving the human race for their atrocities to cows.
However, they’ll spare vegans, instead, making them into pets.
My second theory is that whoever is running the simulation has been fired because all of the updates that he/she has been putting out are planting viruses into the system.
My third and least believable theory is hard to comprehend because it’s just so farfetched.
Basically, a country has become divided due to political views. Then the media started leaning far right wing.
While this is happening, a race war begins to develop, slowly, over years of civil unrest.
A revolution against the government ensues. Meanwhile, as nobody is expecting it, China invades and turns a once-prospering, democratic empire into a communistic state of slaves, converting its citizens into labor zombies.