Eye morality needed

Delani Nichols, Ad Manager

   Hey, pals! I’ve written a lot of editorials in my life, a good majority satirical, but not today.

   Today, I will tackle the topic of premarital eye contact, an epidemic sweeping not only BHS, but the nation as a whole.

   See, this may seem like a joke, but I can assure you it’s not! From a young age, I was taught to do the righteous thing and keep my eyes to myself. Have I failed? Yes, we all do, but that’s okay! We are forgiven.

   At times I wonder why we commit this sin.  Then I look in the mirror.

   How can people be expected to not look into my dreamy hazel eyes or not stare gazingly at my dashing good looks?

   This question boggles my mind. Why am I so attractive?

   Maybe it’s the minimum of seven hours of sleep every night? Could it be my ability to completely rock the VSCO look? My extreme levels of humor? The ability to easily finish my four hours of homework during lunch?

   Could it all boil down to the immense love my cat gives me in every moment? Have I told you guys about my cat?

   His birthday was Jan. 14. I sure hope you were able to wish him a blessed day.

   He’s absolutely perfect. He loves to cuddle with me, bite me when I’m crying to remind me to suck it up, talk with me, give me sweet sandpaper kisses…

   What? Oh uh yes, premarital eye contact, NOT good.