Staffer’s fists curled

Jacob Dugar, Editorial Editor

You know what sport I don’t understand? Curling! It’s somehow a winter activity, despite it having nothing to do with winter, no matter which form you’re talking about.
First off, it’s not a sport. Anyone can do it at any time, but apparently it’s worthy of being in the Olympics.
Another problem with curling is that it’s very broad. It can mean hair curling, arm curls, or curling ribbons.
The most common form of this is hair curling. This is used by those with long hair when they want it to look nicer.
The only materials needed for it is a curling iron and an outlet. Not even a mirror is necessary.
Also a common form, arm curling is used by those who want to improve his upper-body strength. All that is required for this is arms, dumbbells, and the motivation to improve.
Next up for the different variations is that which involves ribbons. Ribbon curling is used by those of us who not only take the time to pick a gift for somebody, but also want to make it look pretty.
For this, you only need some coordinating colors, a little dexterity, and the goodness in your heart to get a gift for somebody.
My personal favorite form of this event is curling into the fetal position. There are several different benefits to doing this.
First, you can let loose all of those pent-up emotions. Second, it is a naturally safe position as it protects all of your vital organs. Finally, it’s comfortable. It’s a very versatile branch of this activity.
Finally, we have eyelash curling. This is in the same subbranch of curling as hair curling, but instead of focusing on your head hair, this focuses on your eye hair. The only tool for this is an eyelash curler and eyelashes.
That, my dear reader, is why curling should not be an Olympic sport.