Junior collects opinions on chapstick debate, gets lippy

Delani Nichols, Entertainment Editor

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     Chapstick, why do we need it? According to my good pal Google, it provides an occlusive layer on your lips to help seal in moisture. This is especially helpful in the cold, harsh times of winter.

   There are so many brands of chapstick out there, but what kind is the best? Is it Burt’s Bees, EOS, Blistex, HEMPZ, or Carmex? In this editorial we’ll find out.

   I promise on Loucksie’s life, who admits to being a chapstick addict, that when judging these products, I will be as fair as possible.

   Let’s start off with Burt’s Bees. I’ve never personally had it, but I do have some pals who would like their opinions heard. Senior Aliyah Shetler says that it makes her lips “feel nice” and that it “looks cool.” She would rate the taste a solid 5/10. Sophomore Allie Schneider absolutely loves Burt’s Bees peppermint flavor. “You know it’s working well when it starts to slightly burn.” Allie rates this product a 7.5/10 saying, “it needs more peppermint.”

    Next is EOS Eggs. To start off, I’m not sure what flavor I have. I know BOO me, but it’s just show biz, baby, and the show must go on. The color is a nice striped mixture of millennial and baby pink, which is aesthetically pleasing. I’d say it is very easy to open and apply. Even though it takes a couple go-arounds to feel the effect, I still consider it highly effective. I put this on, and 30 Minutes later I was still feeling sister smooth. Also after applying, your nose is graciously blessed by a soft and clean aroma.

    I know that had a lot of positives, but I do have some negatives. Starting with the shape. The famous egg shape irks me on a completely different level, why? Because eggs are nasty, they don’t have a flavor, and they come from nasty birds. Tell me why I would want that on my lips?  It’s sad to say, but with the shape coming into play, I would rate this product a 5/10.

   Blistex, specifically Medicated Berry. It’s not flashy with the packaging and I respect that. It’s small enough to fit in your pocket no problem, which is very important. The usability and flavor? Amazeballs.

    Makes my lips feel nourished and medicated. It also gives me a nice tingly feeling, unlike the burning sensation from Burt’s Bees.

  If you don’t want the berry flavor there is a original “manlier” one. My step-dad Tony proudly acclaims, “I’m a man, I have man lips, and I need a man chapstick.” With all of that, I rate Blistex 10/10 no questions asked.

     HEMPZ lips. Let’s start off by answering the most asked question: “Is that weed?” No you third grade uncultured swine, it’s not.

     This product states on the package to be “Ultra moisturizing, herbal lip balm enriched with 100% pure natural hemp seed oil.” I truly do appreciate the natural aspect of it, but the chapstick itself, a little disappointing. I mean, yeah, it does the job of getting the lips moisture, but that doesn’t last long. Don’t even get me started on how hard it is to use. I have to use the full force of BOTH my hands to even get a tiny bit out. 3/10.

    Lastly Carmex. I don’t particularly enjoy this one; the smell is too strong and it burns way too much. It gives me strong sick Grandma vibes. Although I have experienced negatives, sophomore Emmy Furman states that the stick kind is better than the liquid, which I used; she even says that it makes her lips so kissable, even her ex wants her back. With the knowledge Emmy has given me, I’d rate this 4/10.

  In conclusion Blistex has my heart and being “kisssable” will save your score. Thank you for reading.

XOXO Dan

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