Junior comes meow-out

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Hi, my name is Delani Nichols; some of you may know me as Dan.  I moved here in eighth grade from good ‘ole Lyndon, Kansas.

   It has been brought up in Dear Jane last year, that I, in fact, did not come from Lyndon, but a completely different planet. I know who wrote the letter, and I resent them for outing me. I wasn’t ready… but I am now.

   I come from a far away moon of Earth called “Lorcat.”

   You’re probably wondering what the glorious land of Lorcat is like. Let me explain.

   Every day starts the exact same; at eight o’clock “The Office” theme song starts blaring, and I break out of my moderately large cocoon.

   I put on my thneed and I hop on my F.O.S.T.E.R, which stands for “Fast Or Slow Transportation Everyone Rides.”

  I know what you’re thinking: “Foster, isn’t that your cat’s name now?” Yes, yes it is. When I left my planet, I got to bring two things with me, my F.O.S.T.E.R. and my golden copy of The Lorax.

   Why was I sent here? Our king the Golden Marshmallow, looked into the stats here on earth and saw that the ratings of the glorious Lorax were going down, also that many humans were starting to enjoy the company of dogs instead of superior cats.

  I, being the biggest follower of our king, volunteered to come down to this disgusting planet and help solve this dilemma.

  I understand if you, the reader, look at me differently now, but I am still the same Dan.

  One last thing before I go: “HaW yEe. LET loucks IT is GROW one. Meow InTo ThE wOoDs Meow $crunchies, ALL HAIL THE GOLDEN MARSHMALLOW!!”

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