Brother vs. Brother: Other staffer disagrees with him

Branden Alford, Editorial Editor

  Has it really been this long?! It has been rough not writing out my daily debates for the world to read. Bring it!

   Did Adam have a belly button? Adam certainly did not have a belly button. We today have belly buttons because that is where our umbilical cord was attached. Adam was not born, meaning he did not have a umbilical cord, so no belly button.

   Which accent is better: Australian or British? Australian is by far the best option. Australian is basically the British version of a southern accent. Everything southern is automatically better. Australian is so much better that the contest is not even close.

   Which is better: Eat to live or live to eat? Food is too good to eat only for sustenance. If you believe you should only eat food when you need to, you need to eat better food, like steak and potatoes. One does not simply eat steak and potatoes to survive. Eat your food to enjoy your life.

   Which rules: Pirates or ninjas? Obviously, you have never heard of a little pirate toy called a blunderbuss, an early form of the shotgun that was loaded with gunpowder and nails, shooting everything within a 10 yard radius. No amount of sneakiness can save you from that.

   Samurai vs. ninja: Who wins? Ninjas can not throw stars when they have been sliced in half by a sword. Game over.

   Animal testing: Cruel or effective? I think you need a little bit of animal testing so you can figure out what animal testing is. Seriously, there is nothing I can say to you right now.

   Pencils: Mechanical or regular? Good ole’ Ticonderoga never let me down. Why change something that is already perfect like the normal pencil? If we slow the future down, the implanted chips will not affect us as early.

   Thumb: Finger or not? Yes, the thumb is absolutely a finger! It looks like a finger, acts like a finger, and does the same tasks as all the other fingers. Therefore, it must be a finger.

   Well there we have it. Every single debate of the last few weeks in one issue. In conclusion, keep this last thought in mind: JFK shot first.