Brother vs. Brother: Lizard people do not exist

Branden Alford, Editorial Editor

The world is run by Lizard People? Seriously? How can I even be related to you?!

   First of all, everyone out there who believes that “lizard people” can rise to the top of our world’s political and social ladder must be missing a few marbles. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I am saying that the prefix im- means not and this is not possible.

   So called “popular” members of the reptilian elite, as mentioned by the other writer of this debate, only serve to take his point farther down the tubes.

   How can Robert Downy Jr. be part of the elite if he is stuck up and a jerk to everyone, going directly against their first code of conduct that, if they existed, would dictate that all members must fly under the radar until they can take over?

   Furthermore, mentioning our President Barack Obama and his favorite sidekick, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, is quite possibly the largest mistake of this entire article. For what reasons? I’ll leave that decision up to you.

   Moving on, who would honestly say that they believe a poll done by a website claiming to put out “highly accurate polling information on political elections” that says 12 million Americans believe this fallacy concerning reptilian people. Who would trust political polling companies especially given the current election? Obviously the foolish author who shares my last name.

   As for the quote presented, that whole greater than zero percent chance of conspiracy theories actually being true is as absurd as saying there is a greater than zero percent chance that Mrs. Loucks will decide tomorrow to leave her cats and family behind to move into an igloo on the barren icescapes of Alaska because she can’t stand seeing cute cat pictures on Google anymore. Both will never happen.

   When you read in the other article about the shady character named David Duke and his worldwide following, did you stop for a second and see that number of 47 and think to yourself, Man that has got to prove his point simply because of its sheer magnitude? Of course not!

   Remembering from lessons learned during National/International with Mr. Varvel that informed me of the 196 countries on our planet, I took 196 minus 47, receiving a grand total of 149 nations that are not 100 PERCENT BAT CRAZY!

   When looked on from this perspective, there really aren’t that many countries sharing this belief, further disproving the claim that everybody believes these lies  .

   At this point, I am beginning to chuckle, as my concern grows for my brother’s mental stability. Never in my 16 years of existence on this planet have I seen someone concede the point that his belief makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to prove that it makes sense. That itself doesn’t make sense to me.

   Up to this point, I had thought there would be zero competition in this debate. Then I read the point stating that the “reptilian elite” are actually human hybrids that look exactly like us.

   Immediately following that, I realized my mistake in believing there would be a challenge, and shook my head in disgust as yet another point bit the dust.

   These “reptile people” look just like us because they DON’T EXIST AND ARE NORMAL PEOPLE! I seriously have no clue why this is such a hard concept to grasp.

   It should be easy enough for our readers now to say beyond a shadow of a doubt that the “reptilian elite” conspiracy theory is simply false, incapable of ever being true. Now, sherbet versus ice cream, that’s a whole other issue.