Underclassmen need help!

Rose Wahlmeier

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00 Spanish (Noah Parker)

Sophomore Sam Samuelson whispers, “Solo habla Inglés” in freshman Makayla Magallanez’s ear. Mr. Samuelson shows disapproval. (PHOTO: Noah  Parker)

by Rose Wahlmeier
Starting high school has its challenges, so getting tips from upper classmen always helps.
“No habla Inglés” and “Habla Español” mean only speak in English in that one class. “Yo no se” will be your favorite phrase, because the teacher likes it a lot.
Next tip: head up to the senior lounge when it is full, make eye contact with everyone, and sit down in the middle of the crowded couch. Underclassmen are always welcome.
At lunch, be sure to sit with a senior table and remind them that this is their last year together, and that, after this, they will never see each other again.
In P.E. walk all five of your laps, be sassy always, and get on your phone whenever you are in the locker room. You’ll be guaranteed an A.
Also, don’t worry if you’re not athletic; it’s not like you’ll be tested on your abilities in P.E.
In Physical Science, never wear the eye protection; it’s not important. But you can wear it outside of class because it’s a fashion statement.
Join the drum line because all you do is hit a stick on a drum at random times and ignore the drum major.
If you have Mrs. Loucks for English, you need to steal Puff Daddy and hold him for ransom.
If you are a boy and you have P.E. be sure to bring your teacher some Fireballs; it’s said that he will possibly lessen your running.
Even though this is quite obvious, we need to say that you should always put your hand on the sanding belt in shop class.
That’s it:  all our combined wisdom.
Good luck, freshies!

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